When a new year begins, culturally we programmed to reflect on the year that passed, set intention for the year to come, and, most obviously, CELEBRATE! Champagne, parties, crowds - you get the idea.
And while that is fine within itself, not everyone is happy the year is turning.
When someone we love dies, one of the hardest parts is experiencing things that they will never be part of. It could be a new house, a new vacation, and yes - even a new year.
Recently I broke down crying in my car after I realized this year would be the first one my wonderful grandmother wouldn’t get to witness any part of. Even though I had already dealt with a lot of “firsts,” it still stings that she isn’t beckoning in the new year like the rest of us.
So… what do I recommend doing for someone who is hurting this year?
For starters, give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling. Be extra kind to yourself.
Set time aside to journal why you miss them and what you were looking forward to doing with them this year. (Psssst - My Heart Still Remembers can really help!)
Share some of those thoughts with someone you love - let them in and let them support you.
What about if you know someone who is hurting?
Let them know you’re thinking of them! Acknowledge that you know this new year might be difficult for them.
Ask them how they are feeling, what they'll miss, and just listen.
Encourage them to keep digging into those feelings by continuing to share and give them resources like this grief workbook.
Remind them that they aren't alone. Get something on the calendar they can look forward to!
And in a world that encourages us to make resolutions that make us feel bad about where we currently are, be sure to a) not do those, and b) make one of your resolutions to accept you grief journey exactly where it is at.
My 2021 goal is to continue to put out songs, shows, and articles that help people learn how to lean into their own grief better. If you haven’t yet, be sure to sign up for my email list on www.mikispeer.com so you can get all the resources delivered right to your inbox.
All my love,
Miki Speer